30 July 2009

"So we're all together in this, right?

Just tell me now if you don't think that we're all up to this."
Everyone gives some sort of flighty but definite response. Definite not indicating conviction, but the understood consequences of equivocation--get-the-fuck-out-I-thought-we-were-friends-do-you-even-care? Except that everyone does want to get the fuck out, and they did think they were friends, and they don't even care. Because this is fucking stupid. This is probably the dumbest thing that all of them have ever done.

It's not that they even want to do it; but, it's like how you'll carefully deposit your car into a cement wall--tin can carefully accordioned into a small space maybe where a bird had once built a nest--so you don't hit a fucking racoon. Or a squirrel. A chipmunk, a rabbit, a cat, a dog, a kindergartener. All perceived each the other to be more or less as innocent as all of these critters. Even the omnivores. And most of them are vegetarian.

Bad news. Cue the coroner trying to find teeth to see if anyone was actually in the car. Picture a squirrel in a tree overlooking the cameraman and the reporter--whole hoard of teeth saved up for winter. One could argue that teeth are seeds and nuts--they have roots. What would grow if you planted a tooth? A little brother or sister? A new best friend? But roots don't mean things grow. It just means they're hard to uproot.

Things used to be so great. Something outside of all of our controls must have happened to make things be this way. If you thought they were right, you'd probably be right. If you thought they were wrong, you'd probably be right. It's all just so sad that their childhoods, their first girlfriends or boyfriends, made them save so much energy, affection, Feelings, that when they finally sprouted, those roots went fuckin' deep. I quote:

The distribution of vascular [read: emotional] plant [read: human] roots within soil [read: the Scene] depends on plant form [read: personality], the spatial and temporal availability of water [read: love] and nutrients [read: affection], and the physical properties of the soil [read: the Scene again]. The deepest roots are generally found in deserts [read: deserts] ... The majority of roots on most plants [read: people] are however found relatively close to the surface where nutrient [read: emotional] availability and aeration [read: exposure] are more favourable for growth. Rooting depth may be physically [read: emotionally] restricted by rock [read: overly Christian parents, stepdads, etc.] or compacted soil [read: you moved a lot when you were a kid, maybe] close below the surface, or by anaerobic soil [read: emotionally suffocating] conditions.


So our characters in this story grew up in deserts. There's no real need for elaboration, but I'll indulge myself. They're human cacti. They grow in small groups, they conserve energy and emotions, and they have really fucking sharp spikes so they don't get eaten. You know, cactus spikes are just modified leaves. Spinach and lettuce, they evolved so you could eat the juicy leaves. Cacti evolved to keep you away. Think about that for a second. So they end up just sitting around and waiting for that thick and fast rain to last them the rest of the year, but end up withstanding dust storm after dust storm.

Don't get me wrong. If you can get close enough to one, everything inside just comes tumbling out. You can make tequila or eat the fruit that's so full of seeds that it's almost not worth swallowing or spitting them out to eat the juicy, delicious emotional ovary. The downside is that if you do get at what's inside, most of it's just going to fall onto the dry-tiled desert floor, disappear into the small caves (remember that this is the Scene). Then the other jealous cacti, after a short time, get to feed on its insides and make themselves feel better. Did I mention that cacti are green with envy? I forgot to mention that. That's an important metaphor.

So out of some fucked up idea of what will help--not praying, or any shit like that, they're sure--they've decided to do something stupid that's just going to make everything worse. Cacti survive the way they survive because that's the only way they can survive. This isn't some rich, thick rainforest. You take what you can get, hold it in when you can, and only try to give back enough to keep it coming.